I would like to tell you about another special little guy that was behind the inspiration for This Little Light. His name is Jack. Today would have been Jack’s first birthday. This is his story written by his mommy Ashley…
November 24th, 2010 the pregnancy test said, ‘POSITIVE’. From that day forward there was a love that I never knew existed before. I called the doctor’s office that day just to confirm that I was indeed pregnant and we were, we almost couldn’t believe it. We were so excited and I could hardly keep my mouth shut about it.
Jon and I agreed that we wouldn’t find out the sex. We got our first ultrasound at 20 weeks and he or she was gorgeous. We already could tell that he or she had my lips and my button nose and he or she was extremely active like daddy was. I absolutely loved being pregnant and told people that I would have to have 4 kids if my pregnancies were this good. Every month we went in for our appointments and everything was all good, my doctor always complimented me on well I was doing.
I went in for my 39 week appointment and everything was great, his heartbeat was great…nothing wrong at all. I went in on Aug 1st for my 40 week appointment and they couldn’t find his heartbeat with the doppler and Jon and I thought he was just being stubborn like his mom, we never once thought that death was a possibility that far along (I truly did not think anything was wrong). My doctor ordered an ultrasound just to be sure everything was okay, he didn’t fuss too much over it. That morning we had really bad weather (crazy rain and wind) and Jon’s parents were on vacation so Jon asked if he could run home to open some doors on the turkey barns because it was getting really hot outside and I told him that it was fine because I wasn’t going to get in for at least 20 minutes or so.
I checked into the ultrasound lab and Jon still hadn’t been back so I went in and she started the stress test. She was into it for maybe 2 minutes and told me that she’d be right back and I still didn’t think anything of it (I was in denial). She came back with Dr Turner and his nurse Stacy. I looked at them and I saw Stacy’s eyes were glossy and then I saw the flat line. I was still in denial until my doctor spoke the words ‘there’s no heartbeat’.
Stacy asked for Jon’s phone number and he came right away and this was the start of our nightmare. We sat there on the bed and just sobbed for what it seemed like an hour, time had gone so slow like as if I was watching myself in a dream. From there we went home to think and process this horrific news and we went back to hospital as I started labor on my own and had him naturally which was such a blessing. Everyone complains how bad it is but I enjoyed it and maybe I did because I knew that time was running out and I cherished every little bit I had with him.
“An angel of the Lord opened the book of life and wrote down Jack’s birth. Then she whispered as she closed the book, “too beautiful for Earth”.
Jack, you are a brave soul and a strong little man. You are so loved by your Mom and Dad and all of the families. Your time here was short, but I know that you’ve made an impact on many. You have been forever etched in our hearts.
We held him for an hour just Jon and I and then we brought our family in to hold him and take pictures, lots of pictures. Then reality set in. The priest came and Baptized him along with giving him his last rights and then we had to hand off our baby.
Jack’s mommy Ashley has founded Jack’s Faith in his honor, you can find out more here: Jack’s Faith
In honor of Jack, I will be adding a page on infant loss and working with the local community to support parents who are enduring a loss through my portraiture.